We were warned.
At the urging of Range DFLers hungry for jobs, and Republicans eager to widen the gulf between the rich and poor, earlier this month Governor Dayton signed into law a measure to make the permit process in Minnesota move at "the speed of commerce."
The pristine Minnesota River Valley will be the first of the state's wilderness areas to suffer the consequences of the rush to nonjudgement. Indeed, the Brown County metropolis's Irish community has moved at the speed of a quick slip jig to test the new limits of the law.
The New Ulm Journal reports in St. Patrick’s Day to have heart healthy theme:
The annual Sauerkraut Burying Contest will begin at 3:15 and will continue until all of the kraut in town is gone, so resident are asked to search their cupboards and bring what they can to Irish Park.
"This event was so popular last year that we will also be burying Lutefisk," said Kearney. "We are hoping no one lets the MPCA know about this because we could get in trouble for polluting the soil and groundwater."
However, the Irish believe the improvement in air quality will more than make up for the soil and water pollution.
Given the predictions of widespread, record flooding for the New Ulm area, and the city's dearth of resources for flood mitigation, the improper disposal of sauerkraut and lutefisk could trigger widespread degradation of the Minnesota and Mississippi Rivers if that stuff oozes into the river.
Bluestem Prairie's sources in the area recommend a full investigation by citizen journalists.
"I don't know what those folks are thinking," local wind energy expert Millie Seppmann said.
Local Tea Party activists are outraged by another item in the New Ulm Journal's reporting:
City Attorney Hugh Nierengarten called in and said he had heard the state was going to put a tax on brains to help settle its budget problems. Nierengarten asked if he could qualify for a refund.
A rally to protest the proposed tax on brains is in the works. No word if Representative Glenn Gruenhagen plans to seek a temporary restraining order to halt the "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" kissing contest:
Other causes for concern include potential violations of the state's brewing laws:
The St. Patrick's Monument steering committee has been working with the Schell's Brewery to develop a green beer called Blarney Beer. The committee hoped to have it in the liquor stores by the first of this year to raise money for the St. Patrick Monument, but Schell's has been so busy due to the popularity of its Grain Belt and Nordeast beer that it hasn't had time to make Blarney Beer. The committee was told that if it bought Schell's beer this year it would definitely turn green within eight or nine months and be ready for sale in 2012.
Read the rest of the atrocities in the New Ulm Journnal.