In the last episode of Emo Senator: former 2010 candidate downplays knowledge of politics to slam Mike Parry, fans of southern Minnesota's most beloved telenovela were horrified to watch our hero, Senator Mike Parry, the Belle of Waseca County, savagely attacked by Col. Stan Gudmundson, USAF (Ret), Rushford.
The retired military man did not know where to turn for a Republican candidate, and Mike Parry was no true conservative!
As we tune in today, Gudmundson is joined in the ring of public discourse ( commonly known as the letters pages of the Winona Daily News) by Karl Elshoff of Winona, and we learn what a head fake the first letter was.
Elshoff writes in Quist may be the brand of conservative Stan’s looking for:
Stan Gudmundson, in his letter that appeared in Thursday’s Daily News, made a good point in evaluating a Republican 1st District candidate for Congress. Gudmundson is a retired U.S. Air Force colonel and frequent contributor to the Winona-area newspapers.
His point is that a true conservative holds to the four key values of fiscal, social, national defense and constitutional conservatism. When Republicans stray too far from the party platform, we call these people RINOs (Republican in Name Only).
Coming from Rochester, Minn., I am all too familiar with RINOs. We had an incumbent state senator change her party affiliation from Republican to Independent and finally changed it to Democrat. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a RINO? The result was not pretty; it involved more than just hurt feelings. . . .
Seen as a team, the pairing of luchadores Gudmundson and Elshoff makes it all clear what is happening in this race: the sly devotees of the enduring Quist seek a Máscara o cabellera contra retiro. Since Parry has no hair, they are battling to force Emo, who has wandered too far from the conservative ring, to remove his mask and reveal his true Rino identity--or retire from the race.
The taunts are those of smooth-cheeked técnicos (babyfaces), and Parry? After last summer's bouts with Governor Dayton and his gardener, we could only see him taking the pair on as a heel.
That was, until his indecisiveness in chairing the second part of the Committee on State Government Innovation and Veterans hearing on Racino and Minnesota future fund (S.F. 1046) last Monday. As we watched the free-for-all of motions and confusion--complete with Senator Olson muttering under her breath that she had never seen anything like it--we shook our head.
This sort of talent wouldn't have met the approval the audience for a recent regional professional rasslin' match held at the local high school. (Actually, that show was pretty good, but Emo hasn't been quite the same since his former manager, Michael Brodkorb, quit in December).
What will happen to Emo Senator, trapped against the ropes of the two writers' rhetoric? Tune in to the next episode, starring Mike Parry...Senator and El Rino!
Images: Emo Senator, Mike Parry, by Tild (above); El Santo and Blue Demon, (below).